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all the shame and none of the fun
I’ve been having a terrible problem coming up with a Halloween costume this year. My issue is that I hate dressing up in a pre-fabricated costume. I don’t want to be a princess, a witch, a feisty cat, or a devil. (My friends would argue that I am each and every one of these things without a costume, anyhow.) I’d rather be something conceptual, something that requires creativity.
Unfortunately, I am at my most creative whilst drinking, and this has led me to state, with utmost certainty, in recent nights out that I will be the following things for Halloween:
- A snowball in hell – thankfully, we never figured out how to do this one.
- A Mexican Hat Dancer – issue being that I couldn’t do a Mexican hat dance to save my life, though I suppose with enough tequila, I’d be willing to give it a shot.
- A suburban front lawn – some assemblage of Astroturf (ouch), lawn gnomes and pink flamingoes
- The New Jersey Turnpike – complete with trash (ahem), pollution (ahem, ahem), and exits (I’ll shut up now).
Alcohol-inspired creativity is also the root of my decision in a year earlier to don a long brown fitted dress, and a halo, and refer to myself as ‘holy sh*t’.
Every year I go out and see such cool stuff, such inspired ideas, I am downright jealous. My friend Tom last year put little homie dolls all over his clothes and called himself ‘Brooklyn.’ Now, that’s a funny costume with just a small humiliation factor. I never think of things like that.
T and her roommate briefly considering going as a Bloody Mary this year, as in, one of them bloody, and the other one Mary. Dressing as a cocktail – now that’s the kind of costume I can get behind.
As of today, and as long as I don’t have another inebriated delusion of a costume, I’m thinking of being a walk of shame: disheveled hair, smudged mascara, little cocktail dress, torn nylons, heels-in-hand, and some lad’s shirt over the whole outfit. Sadly, I’ve done this before, so I know the look well. Even more sadly, however, on Friday I’ll get to sport the entire look without any of the fun that would have gotten me there in the first place. Does this mean that my life is imitating art?
comments (15)
oh holy god,your ideas are brilliant. i loathe halloween because i never have that necessary combo of creative costume genius, money to buy additional items, the body to fit into the costumes i really want to wear, and the energy to go somewhere while wearing said getup. i think i'll go as a college student again this year. i've got that look down pat.
1 | sassylittlepunkin | October 30, 2003 09:24 AM
How about a freudian slip? You were a fun, sexy slip and either a sash or something that says "Freudian". I did that last year and it was really fun.
2 | ally | October 30, 2003 09:25 AM
ugh, you WEAR a slip.
is it friday yet?
3 | ally | October 30, 2003 09:27 AM
for me Halloween is usually about finding an excuse to wear the feather boa, but I think i'm going to be a drunk bridesmaid this year...
I mean really - when else am I going to be able to wear a floor length blue velvet dress again...in Arizona.
love the walk of shame idea!
4 | sf | October 30, 2003 09:40 AM
I think that it's art imitating life.
5 | Frankenstein | October 30, 2003 11:03 AM
Well, think of it this way: If you get lucky on Friday, you won't even have to change your clothes on Saturday Morning!
6 | sonya | October 30, 2003 11:31 AM
My friends and I were trying to figure out something to dress up in as a group. Half were into the Bush administration; half were into world dictators, as long as it included Bush (W). I personally don't know what in the hell i am doing, therefore will just throw something together tonight to get smashed in tomorrow.
7 | Devlyn | October 30, 2003 01:43 PM
My senior year of high school, two friends and I went to school on Halloween dressed as the Heathers (I was red, because I'm always red).
If I felt like doing something this Halloween, I would be Roxie Hart from Chicago. I've always wanted to be Felicity Shagwell, but there's no way I could pull that off.
8 | Lux | October 30, 2003 06:44 PM
get a bag of smarties and tape the small containers, or individual candies to you arse...the original SMART ASS
9 | mae | October 30, 2003 08:34 PM
i went to ecostumes.com or something, and they had all those dumb "punny" ideas like "smartass" and "white-trash".
i think i'm going to either dress new-wave and say i'm james chance, but no one will know who he is (i barely do), or dress normal, and say I'm a homicidal maniac. they look just like everyone else.
10 | peter | October 31, 2003 02:02 AM
The best costume I ever saw was my friends
wife wearing khaki pants and a black shirt.
She was always really low key and I just
assumed that she didn't dress up, so being a
smart ass I asked her what she was supposed to
be. She answered me without missing a beat,
"Gap employee".
11 | nick | October 31, 2003 03:47 AM
Well I am going as Elvira - Mistress of the Dark. I let you use your imagination for the rest ;o)
12 | S | October 31, 2003 06:33 AM
My little sister and a couple of her girlfriends are wearing white t-shirts tied up all slutty like with their zodiac signs on them and going as "Tyrese's Hoes".
Children these days.
13 | Jessie | October 31, 2003 09:41 AM
Always changing my mind at the last minute, I now just HAVE to be a Freudian Slip.
Just one thing. Since I hate the obvious, I'd rather my slip say 'COME TO MAMA'.
Ya'll think it will work?
14 | deb | October 31, 2003 10:34 AM
I was the "Walk of Shame" a few years back - it worked out famously, but was so cold that night in Atlanta that I had to cover up the entire costume with a coat. Still one of my best, though.
More ideas at:
www.costumeideazone.com