« previous | main | next »
bad roommates
Sorry for the light posting. Trying to interview potential replacement roommates, find a new job, and maintain stagnant mediocrity at my old one is surprisingly time-consuming today.
Last summer, during a most-fluxed time in my life, I moved into an apartment for three months to put my feet down before I figured out what move to make next. I was looking for something inexpensive and low-key, and found a two-bedroom, one bath, with one remaining, and apparantly really sweet, roommate. To dodge the $250 lease reassignment fee – I saw no reason to have my name on the lease for such a short period of time – I paid the three months in advance. The 'sweet' girl turned out to be not only a total bee-atch, but mean. Evidence:
- I had half a closet out of the three there.
- I had one cabinet out of ten in the kitchen.
- She was a total slob but if I left a single magazine on the coffee table in the living room, I’d find it in on my bed when I got home from work.
- If I ever pointed out that perhaps the space in the apartment should be more evenly distributed, she pointed out that my name wasn’t on the lease and I had no rights there.
- If I bought a bottle of water, it disappeared from the fridge. If I asked her if she knew what had happened, she said she must have mixed it up with her own (hers – Evian, mine – Poland Spring; I can see how that would happen).
It wasn’t just me she drove batty. She had painters come in during my third month, could not wait until the room was empty, and I literally had to move out for a couple days and move back in. Then, she tortured the painters each day for the rest of the summer, having them come back up and clean off each individual stray drop of paint they had missed, rather than doing it herself. Up to their eyeballs with her phone calls, they came back no less than eight times.
At the end of the summer, Little T and I swore up and down we would find some way to avenge her awfulness. Something small and petty, just like her. In the end, I took the high road, left her the keys and a ‘best luck with the new roommate’ note. I still regret my propriety.
Well, guess who is looking for an apartment? Mine, actually. Of course she didn’t realize it was mine, but as I returned some phone calls, I ran into an all-too-familiar screechy, high-pitched voice on the answering machine. (Did I mention she had it at top volume, not room-remoted, and got maybe thirty phone calls a day but was never home?)
And I have terrible, evil thoughts racing through my head ...
comments (9)
do i smell payback in the air??? :)
1 | stef | April 14, 2004 06:03 PM
Do it.
Whatever you're thinking, do it.
It is worth it.
2 | bellis | April 14, 2004 09:18 PM
Yeah, but would it be worth it to put your roommates through it? Unless they'd all be in on the torturing...
3 | Rose | April 14, 2004 09:21 PM
Karmically you are bound to act. Go get 'em Tiger!!
4 | ari | April 14, 2004 09:34 PM
she sounds like a real winner.
5 | amber | April 14, 2004 10:50 PM
Tell me about it. Maintaining stagnant mediocrity on the job is brutal. Much harder than actually working. Trying to think of things not to do and creative ways to explain to my boss why I'm not doing them is causing my hair to fall out...
Why can't life be like those CareerBuilder.com commercials???
6 | bionicroach | April 14, 2004 11:01 PM
Oh yeah: And is there such a thing as a *good* roommate? Honestly? Every cohabitation experience I've ever had was basically a permutation of what you've detailed here. Harrumph. Maybe it's me...
7 | bionicroach | April 14, 2004 11:06 PM
My current roommates are fantastic, it's just this old one who was evil. I'd never sic her on them, but even after a good night's sleep, I'm still tempted to find some way to be cruel to her. Bad Smitten. Very bad.
8 | deb | April 15, 2004 06:59 AM
You need to get her down to look at the place. I mean, it goes without saying that you're never going to inflict her upon your roommates, but you at least need to waste her time.
Then, nearing the end of her looking around the place. Preferably on the second callback. Make your first appearance...