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because a cupcake is never just a cupcake…
This weekend I stopped by the bakery to find out if they needed any slightly out-of-practice but highly ambitious cake decorators/career changers/half-talented writers/girls not afraid to flirt with gay men who have no use for their cuteness and/or large racks. Okay, just the first part, but I haven’t gotten an answer yet just the same.
I have to say, though, that just the asking has moved this from a place in my mind where I store the ‘Yeah, and someday I’d also like to be an astronaut’, ‘slash rock star’, ‘slash pretty pretty princess’ ideas and put it in a place where I am musing on things like ‘I wonder what Cobra costs’ and ‘if my job will let me stay on part time for now’. I mean, I’m actually thinking about how I can have my cake and eat it too. (I’m sorry, that was awful, but when else will I have another opportunity to tie that in?)
I realized in the early months of my current job that it wasn’t what it was supposed to be. I stuck with it because I had gone to grad school for this, it was the path I had chosen, and it was the best job available to fulfill it. I had the nagging sense that it was never going to make me happy, but I didn’t know what else to do and so I stayed. And stayed. Over the years, I’ve considered so many other things but haven’t been willing to give up the security of my current job to try out some of my more wild ideas. More importantly, I haven’t been able to own up to the realization that maybe I have chosen the wrong path.
I used to be the same way with relationships. Boys would eventually prove to be less than I initially thought they were, but as long as they weren’t being total assholes, as long as they seemed enough in love with me, I would keep them around. They became something I had invested in, and I would see this investment through. Maybe things weren’t perfect but don’t you know that life’s not perfect and you have to take the good with the bad? You’d think for all of my practice, I’d look good in Martyr, but really – it clashes with everything.
I know I could stay forever in my job, because it’s stable, because it’s there, because I have invested all of this time in it, but I suspect that when I leave it, like when I finally left my last relationship eons after I realized it had gone sour, I’ll only wonder why I hadn’t done it sooner. I’m just wondering if this is my chance.
comments (19)
quit your job already--you have been talking about it forEVER. there are other jobs. Ones that are a LOT closer than your current coomute too.
1 | Jocelyn | May 17, 2004 02:39 PM
that's the right way to look at it. i quit my last job way too late - i was bitter and burned out - and now i wonder why i didn't bolt sooner.
2 | mingaling1 | May 17, 2004 02:45 PM
I second that. Wanna join the circus or become one of those hair braiding ladies on a tropical island? It'll just take me a second to pack.
3 | happygirl | May 17, 2004 02:46 PM
can i come, too? and NOT bring my children??? a tropical island sounds real nice right about now.
4 | aurora | May 17, 2004 03:08 PM
totally. obviously if you're this interested in whether it's going to kill you dead before you leave it, or if you're going to have to deal with it for much longer, it's not for you. so find another job already, okay? just remember that it is easier to find a job when you have a job than when you don't. if that made any sense...
5 | devlyn | May 17, 2004 03:42 PM
I can't help thinking that if you're going to keep mentioning what you look like [big rack - grin], you should at least show us a picture of yourself :)
Good luck with the job decision!
6 | Rob | May 17, 2004 03:52 PM
But I posted pictures just last month! You just have to find them :)
7 | deb | May 17, 2004 04:14 PM
I'm in a similar situation w/my job, only I'd have to leave the state to pursue my *dream* job, so I have to do some saving/planning before I take the plunge. But you Miss Deb, are in a good position to go for it -- SO GO FOR IT!!! I'm sure you'll make delicious cupcakes, just sure of it.
8 | Wendy | May 17, 2004 05:36 PM
Even "the worst" (less money, frowns from family members, insecurity about your decision) is never as bad as you imagine it to be. Follow your instinct. You can always change your mind again. and again.
9 | SR | May 17, 2004 06:30 PM
i am so unbelievably with you on this. except for the fact that i don't have cake-decorating skills to fall back on...
10 | julia | May 17, 2004 07:59 PM
Good luck with the prospective job! In the meantime, here's a gig you might be interested in:
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/med/31446744.html
11 | Jennifer | May 17, 2004 10:16 PM
hey, what bakery did you go to? have you been to billy's in chelsea? 10th Ave, if i remember correctly. they have awesome cupcakes, and cute gay boys who might need help icing them!
12 | sassylittlepunkin | May 17, 2004 10:17 PM
Hey, it seems to work in Firefox now. Curious.
13 | Frankenstein | May 18, 2004 06:36 AM
i want to quit my job and be a baker/cake decorator too! will you be my friend? : )
14 | ange | May 18, 2004 08:58 AM
I'm definitely thinking of starting a sort of Let Them Eat Cake type revolution here.
15 | deb | May 18, 2004 09:05 AM
I think this blog was about us helping you to make a life-changing decision. But instead it has taken on a life of it's own and it is recruiting men and women from far and wide to want to become bakers and cake decorators. Maybe you should start a new career in job recruitment (i.e. writing recruitment ads for places looking for workers!) :)
16 | Roberta | May 18, 2004 10:21 AM
Hell. Yeah. Go for it, kid. You won't regret it. :-)
17 | bond girl | May 18, 2004 10:21 AM
Well, I knew from the day I applied for my current job that it wasn't what I wanted to do. I was using it as a stepping stone. Unfortunately, the stone is taking too long to cross - 3 years now.
One good thing that has happened in the meanwhile, I found 'where' I want to live and work (if I have to work, that is). But that has just caused more heart-wrenching issues, I would be moving from the 'oh-so-cheap-to-live-here midwest' to Southern California, 'the land of the rich and beautiful' (of which, I'm afraid that I am only middle of the road).
Worse yet, I'm considering putting myself into a world more debt by trying to get into Med School (which will be my 4th career before I'm 40).
Albeit, debt and uncertainty aside, nothing could stop me from leaving this job when I've gotten all that I can from it.
Go For It! There's nothing worse than regret
18 | Christine | May 19, 2004 11:53 AM
quitting one's job because one doesn't like it not only takes guts, it takes balls. personally, i might be one of those people who really should be doign something else. for less money. with far more satisfaction. as for having treated relationships that way - we've all done that 'but he's so nice and likes me' line... can you decorate cakes on say weekends? or make them to order from a website? cater to friends' events at first (isn't it how martha got her start?) - i've had similar thoughts too.. i think i want my own catering business - or something food related.. and yet, starting is really the most elusive part. i hate to sound so zen but whatever decision you make, will prove to be the one that suits you best at this time (even if maybe your calling IS icing cakes and you choose something else).. try other bakeries and see if you can do this icing schtick on the side.. maybe even for free so you can get some experience under your belt? what do i know, i work like 16 hours a day in the office.. no extracurriculars for me yet.
19 | olga | May 21, 2004 07:44 AM