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cranky-pants
Today I woke up grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.
Do I have a new job yet? No.
Did I go to the gym last night? No.
Did the reason we stayed home last night, waiting for friends to pick some stuff up, end up being worth our while? No.
Was I happy with the dinner I cooked last night? No.
Was I able to stay up past 9 PM after drinking two glasses of wine? No.
Was I more rested and refreshed after getting over nine hours of sleep? No.
Have I written The Great American Novel yet? No.
Did I get to ice a single cupcake yesterday? Nope. Nada. No-no.
Did I take this out on my boyfriend, who has a huge and important presentation at work today? Of course I did. I’m not Good People, as you should all know by now. I’m petty and moody and cranky and demanding. I wake up in a bad mood and I expect him to 'fix it'. I know I should be doing it myself and I’m not, and that just makes me more whiny.
Further evidence that I am terrible, awful girlfriend material:
- I tell him that it’s his job to remind me to take the pill because I take care of the whole hormonally imbalanced mood-swinging part.
- I hit the snooze alarm three times while he is still sleeping.
- I scare him when I threaten to quit my job and ice cupcakes for a living, because he knows he’d end up supporting my ever-enlarging nibbling-on-frosting ass. (No, I would never let him but OhMyGodIWantToSomeDaysLikeToday…)
- I blame him for the fact that I now watch TV regularly, and never did before, as if he forced me to become addicted beyond all hope to Queer Eye, Extreme Makeover, and Pimp My Ride.
- I whine when he has to work late, as if it’s his fault.
- I tell him his feet smell.
Look, I’m not sure how much longer being really cute with a big rack is going to compensate for this lousy attitude of mine, but I’m going to work it as much as possible until then, when hopefully I will instead have a dog/child/imaginary voices to blame my problems on.
Um, yeah, hell-in-a-hand basket, here I come!
comments (12)
*sigh*
1 | Jocelyn | May 14, 2004 02:15 PM
You are too funny - my new favorite read.
2 | Jim | May 14, 2004 02:21 PM
heh. well, my boy has been around for 4 years now, and you're cuter than me. i think you'll be fine.
but i still think that you should totally get a cupcake frosting job.
3 | devlyn | May 14, 2004 02:43 PM
If only there was a way to live as a non-trophy wife on a cupcake icer's salary...
(Seriously people. I'm officially obsessed.)
4 | deb | May 14, 2004 02:50 PM
i proposed the cupcake icing job to the boy last night. he was not amused. sigh.
5 | mingaling1 | May 14, 2004 03:24 PM
You told him about all the free cupcakes, didn't you? :)
6 | deb | May 14, 2004 03:29 PM
What do I do when it's my boyfriend who wants to be the cupcake icer?? Damn, he'd sure make me a good housewife.
7 | myrall | May 14, 2004 04:40 PM
..."make me a good housewife" translated from it's original southern: He would make a good housewife for me.
8 | myrall | May 14, 2004 04:43 PM
Ah, yes. The Donald and Bill Gates can only dream of what life would be like if they had the powers of cuteness and big racks at their disposal.
Use your weapons mercilessly. I would.
9 | bionicroach | May 14, 2004 05:20 PM
I was all ready to chastise you, and then I read "really cute with a big rack" and now I've forgotten what I was mad about...
10 | ryan | May 15, 2004 06:22 PM
I'm with Jim--my new favorite read as well! Hysterical portrayal of the little truths...
11 | Veda | May 16, 2004 05:00 PM
If you bake them he will come.
12 | happygirl | May 16, 2004 07:54 PM