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and now i'm blind.
For my four-year anniversary in La Grande Pomme, a man with black sunglasses, some wrinkled plastic bags, and apparently a red sock sat down across from C and I on the subway last night, slid his hand underneath the clutter on his lap and pulled on the red sock.
I didn’t know they made socks for such things.
C saw it first. She leaned to me and said, moving her mouth as little as possible, “Do you see the man across from us?” I thought she had said, “He’s looking at us,” and I brushed her off. “C, he’s BLIND.” And he was. He had the blank stare; he had the fumbling movements. But C was insistent, “No, LOOK.”
I wished I hadn’t.
She got off three stops before me, and I was hoping *it* would stop so I could tease her tomorrow, “It was YOU he was really pleased by,” but it continued, or so the gestures from the corners of my eyes suggested. I was doing the DON’T. LOOK. DON’T. LOOK. thing. LOOK ANYWHERE BUT THERE. It was a long three stops. I should have moved, but I was tired and all the other seats were taken.
I was initially going to say that now, after four years in this city I am finally a New Yorker because someone sat across from me on the train and yanked on a red-sock-that-was-not-a sock, but I’m realizing that it is this, the lack of desire to give up a seat near the door just a moment before home that means I’ve finally arrived.
I should have known it would feel this dirty.
comments (17)
Hahahahahah! Oh, that subway.
1 | C | July 28, 2004 02:16 AM
Life is comedy.
HA
2 | Willem | July 28, 2004 04:18 AM
As I was telling C, it's irksome, but almost like an NYC rite of passage. You're officially inducted ;)
3 | Ari | July 28, 2004 11:51 AM
Eeek, sorry you had to deal with that. I've had something like this happen twice: once in the university library where I was an undergrad, and then the second time, while walking in Somerville, MA, close to the MIT Campus in 10 degree weather, snow and all. My friend and I walked past this guy and then I said "Hmm, that was a really strange looking belly-button, don't you think?" and she said "yeah, it kinda is..." and then a split second later, we both looked at each other realizing that yes, indeed belly buttons like that do not exist... i've yet to find this in nyc though. hmm...
4 | writersbloc gal | July 28, 2004 12:12 PM
That just reminded me of a time when I had a similar experience, but it wasn't nearly as funny. (Last night, the train was really crowded and I didn't feel particularly threatened, it was just gross and weird.) I was walking home late at night, and just outside my own building, a man was jerking off right in front of me. I was so scared I ran inside and called 911. (On my way into the building to call, I passed a teenage boy who asked me if I had just seen him; I guess the grody old man had been standing there for a little while.)
5 | C | July 28, 2004 12:29 PM
Sorry, I didn't think anyone noticed. See, I usually don't have the fare for the MTA, but last night I thought it would rain. I love this city! :)
6 | Michael | July 28, 2004 02:35 PM
the first time i rode the subway out to brooklyn to look for an apartment (first mistake, perhaps, for this confirmed manhattanite?) i was waiting on the platform and some guy unzipped and attempted to show off his modest, ahem, holdings. he was the drooling, crazy-eyed type, complete with menacing giggle. i wasn't too freaked out, but i will never forget that look on his face. he was just so proud!
7 | sassylittlepunkin | July 28, 2004 03:05 PM
four years and you have only seen ONE guy jerk off to you on the subway?
consider yourself lucky my friend
8 | jocelyn | July 28, 2004 07:18 PM
cupcakes - can we quit our jobs and make cupcakes
9 | matt | July 28, 2004 10:46 PM
this is why i love the bus. it may take me an hour to get from midtown to downtown, but the people are much less sketchy. well, usually.
10 | teresa | July 28, 2004 10:50 PM
Um, didn't you point, and laugh uncontrollably?
That usually causes a deflation.
11 | Leo | July 29, 2004 01:08 AM
When I was a senior in high school and working as a cashier at Target, I once had a customer - a scruffy, dirty, dazed-looking guy - start jerking himself off while standing IN MY LINE, totally unashamed, eyes closed, oblivious to the world, USING HIS WALLET. And then I had to take money from that wallet to complete the transaction. I've never quite gotten over it.
12 | Jenny | July 29, 2004 05:17 AM
How could you not resist "I told you it would make you go blind"?
13 | K.W. | July 29, 2004 09:26 AM
It must be something going round. Last night some 12 year old kid pulled down his pants and pushed his butt against my wifes leg. I think no judge in the state would convict me for what I wanted to do to him if I where there.
14 | pretentious | July 29, 2004 10:11 AM
Dairyqueen...summer of 1992. He pulled up into the parkinglot and sat there for a while, staring at me and my daughter. Then he got up to put something in the trash, dangling perhaps the biggest pendulosity I had ever seen. Well, okay, it was not as much dangling as being perpendicular. Oy.
15 | sparkmonkey | July 29, 2004 10:32 AM
They continually bemoan the fact that people regularly vote down mass transit bills in San Diego. It's taken us years just to get the trolley to cover about a fifth of the city and suburbs.
Gee, wonder why? ;)
D
16 | Doccus | July 29, 2004 01:27 PM
ummm did u watch..and was it interesting and non threatning... and why didn't u call the police
17 | curious | September 1, 2004 03:08 PM