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MAKE. OUT. WITH. ME. NOW.
Every time Alex describes my behavior last night he tilts his head back slightly, wrinkles his forehead, and opens his mouth extra wide as if he’s calling across an open field, “You were soooo drunk last night!” Now I ask you – is that really necessary?
There are some vicious rumors going around that I shuffled a bit on the way home; that I was arguing the whole time that we should go out for another round and why was he being such a square to want to turn in before the bars were closed. There are also some suggestions that I had a “near temper-tantrum” when we walked by Billy’s Bakery and they were closed, meaning no fluffy cupcake for my beer-sodden self. And apparently, as I was “shuffling” home, I stopped short entirely and yawned without covering my mouth a yawn so big it shook my entire body. It’s lies, all lies I tell you.
However, and this is a bit odd, you know, since he was with me the whole time. There’s an outgoing text message to Alex on my phone from a little past midnight that reads: MAKE. OUT. WITH. ME. NOW. Which although a bit suspect, and you might use this as the final piece of evidence suggesting that he may actually be telling the truth, I’m going to prove to you why it means just the opposite.
I mean, who the hell uses punctuation in a drunken text message?!
Oh, yeah, um – me.
comments (6)
When I get drunk several things happen. The first is that my right earlobe turns bright red and hot to the touch. Dead giveaway. The second thing that happens is my hips feel stiff, as if I have run a marathon. By the time I figure out the first two I am well on the way to the third, which has to do with being a total flirt, no matter what/who/how...followed directly by my not following through, onaccounta I fall asleep really easily when pixelated. And then there are some pictures of me naked on a tractor somewhere near North Hampton that need explaining....heh...
1 | sparkmonkey | July 31, 2004 06:11 PM
Hehe. I have a habit of kissing completely random people when drunk. Boys, girls, whoever's around. Not tongue down the the throat making out kissing, just peck kissing. And I get pissed that everyone wants to go home cause "IT'S STILL EARRRRLLYY YOU GUYSSHHH!!" even though the party's over, the bar is closing, and my makeup is down around my knees somewhere. Oh, and I get really hot and sweaty as I get tipsy, too.
We should have a TypePad party and then post about each others' obscene behavior!
2 | Colleen | July 31, 2004 10:00 PM
Oh and - when everyone has gone home or has passed out, I stumble to my computer and find people online to bother. Drunken typing.
3 | Colleen | July 31, 2004 10:01 PM
i'm sure it's all lies, deb! well, except the tantrum at billy's. just seeing "billy's bakery" written on your page sends me in to a temper tantrum because i'm 3,000 miles from their baked goods. and i'm sober. hungover, yes. but sober. mmmm, cupcakes!
4 | sassylittlepunkin | August 1, 2004 12:07 PM
I am one of those "drunk dialers." Have left many a crazy message for this or that boy after partaking of too much alcohol. The fact that he was with you, and you felt the need to text a request for a make out session is classic. :)
5 | Snidget | August 1, 2004 01:06 PM
Have you ever noticed though, the drunker you are, the more effort you put into making sure the punctuation is correct, just to trick the person on the other end into thinking you're sober (or at least, not as drunk ?) It rarely works. Besides, sending messages at 3am is usually a dead giveaway that you're still out partying.
6 | Dani | August 1, 2004 08:01 PM