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pms in all of it's 270-word glory
Struggling to get home in the pouring rain on Tuesday evening, under the weight of three bags and an umbrella that was failing to do it’s umbrella-like duties of keeping me dry, I just wanted to throw everything in the gutter and have a tantrum. I taunted the rain to soak me, drenching what bit parts it hadn’t already. I ached for it to ruin everything, the phone, the camera, the cupcakes for the meeting. I was tired of feeling weighed down, I was tired of feeling tired. But, I held fast to my busted umbrella, headed home and climbed the stairs, trailing puddles of flip-flop prints behind me.
I’m not having a very good week.
Yesterday I found out that have thirty-one unused vacation days at my job (and I’m still accumulating more). While everything in me should be screaming Go! Now! Somewhere with sand! More than anything, what I really need in my life right now is the kind of fresh air that you don’t have to board a plane and change time zones to take in.
I need the kind of subtle change that changes everything. I’m mopey and cranky and uninspired these days. I’m sleepy and restless and I wake up frustrated. I tried buying new shoes, but the glory wore off after a day. I thought I just needed the rain to stop, but now it’s sunny and I’m still not. I considered if it was the blisters, the gym, the umbrella, or the sofa issues, but they’re just secondary. I need a paradigm shift.
Or, a shitload of money. Whichever comes first, I’m game.
comments (9)
so i guess some dude pulling on his "red sock" in a subway, isn't paradigm-shift enough for you? this doesn't sound like something likely to be cured by a margarita either. oh wait. what the hell am i saying? tequila is always the answer --and you have 31 days for it!! imbibe! imbibe! i'd say feel better, but that seems so blasé. still, the sentiment is the same. imbibe! imbibe!
1 | kimmikim | July 29, 2004 04:35 PM
Road trip! Hoboken! Days Inn! Pool time! Who loves ya? :)
Of course, some days just need to be survived.
2 | Michael | July 29, 2004 05:06 PM
ahhhhh life. you'll get used to it.
3 | jocelyn | July 29, 2004 07:46 PM
Oh honey. Ditto - I was feeling the same way - except now I am mired deep, deep in the quagmire that is turning out to be my wedding. I know exactly what you are talking about. I was there several months ago when I quit my previous job.
4 | Erin | July 29, 2004 09:38 PM
One word: "Maui"!
5 | Curtis E. Flush | July 30, 2004 10:21 AM
See if the Fresh Air Fund will send you to a lovely camp in the Berkshires for a few weeks... other than that maybe I can kidnap you and some of the other gals to CT for a partial girl's weekend? Appealing at all?
6 | Ari | July 30, 2004 11:28 AM
Um, yes please!
(I almost called this post the Fresh Air Fund, but decided nobody would get it. What was I thinking?!)
7 | deb | July 30, 2004 11:49 AM
i would adore 31 days off of work... then again, i would probably just go to your neck of the woods and be a stupid gawking tourist - someone you would get pissed at for getting in your way on the subway or sidewalk... then again, maybe i'll just stay right here and wait for my trip to OZ... aahhh.
8 | devlyn | July 30, 2004 02:53 PM
If you Americans took the vacation days you had available (as stingy as they may be compared to the rest of the world) you wouldn't feel as burnt out and tired as you indicate. Not taking a vacation because you don't feel up to it is no excuse. Take your bloody vacation days and do something to make yourself feel better.
9 | Genevieve | August 3, 2004 02:11 PM