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now my heart is full. *
Like the cupcake week, the cohabitation-panic week, and the holy-shit-I’m-about-to-present-at-a-conference week before it, my only options of late have been to write about how horrible things really feel or to write nothing at all. Between the resumes, phone calls, and emailing until my brain and heart hurts, there is nothing humorous, whimsical, or mousy (thank goodness) about my current state.
But, I’m so glad I chose to blab about it. As painful as it has been to admit that this might be the only thing I’m ever halfway good at, nearly the second the words left my keyboard and appeared on your screen, this did what it has always done best and a huge weight was lifted. I’ve gotten so much more back than I ever expected. Readers have left me sweet comments. Others have written me long emails of encouragement. Some have offered to review my resume. Strangers have sent me links to job listings. Writer friends have offered to forward my name to those that they know. Friends at big media companies are pushing my cause.
And I … I got my inspiration back. On my way into the subway this morning, I passed a guy on his cell phone saying, “Good morning honey. I just wanted to hear your voice,” and I finally remembered that work is just a thing that you do when you’re not doing the things or people that you love most. It's what I do when I’m not trying to convince my mom that we are actually going to need to split a bottle, not a glass, of wine; when I'm not making silly birthday cards with construction paper and Elmer’s glue; when I'm not trying to bite my boyfriend’s chin, tease him about his lack of Scrabble skills, or invent absurd stories we can tell people about the way we met. It’s not your life; it’s just how you fund it.
So thank you.
comments (24)
"Work is not your life. It's just how you fund it."
No, Deb, thank you.
1 | Mindwalker | August 26, 2004 02:36 PM
Deb, what is it that you do that you hate it so much? I've had my own share of recent oh-my-god-i-need-to-do-something-radically-different-than-finance meltdown and i can relate to the feelings of being 'unemployable'... you're not unemployable, it's just that people will try to force you to get to stay in the spot where you are. hang in there. i wish i could help. but i doubt you want to do finance. and i think you want to do it even less than i do.. so i can only wish you good luck. in all fairness though, we deserve to be in a job that we love. life's too short and while work is just work, we should hate it a little less, don't you think? hopefully we can find better things ahead of us :)
2 | writersbloc gal | August 26, 2004 02:40 PM
right on, sister.
3 | em | August 26, 2004 02:57 PM
You're right. I forget that sometimes!
"Work is not your life. It's just how you fund it."
Sums it all up nicely. Inspired!
4 | michael | August 26, 2004 03:04 PM
You've just made me sniffle for the second time today. Beautifully put, and I'm glad you found that inspiration.
5 | Shawn | August 26, 2004 03:08 PM
From the cap of a Mistic bottle: "As you make a living, don't forget to live"
6 | Li | August 26, 2004 03:12 PM
No, thank you! I'm so glad that you're feeling better.
I love this site -- I almost always click away with a smile on my face and/or something to think about later on the commute home.
7 | Wendy | August 26, 2004 03:40 PM
You're right, work is not your life. It's what *was* my life until I quit and got a new job. My fiancee's work tends to take over his life until it gets crazy and we take a step back and remind ourselves of exactly what you just said; while it might fund our life/lifestyle, it simply does not define it. I won't let it.
8 | Erin | August 26, 2004 03:45 PM
"It’s not your life; it’s just how you fund it."
Amen to that.
9 | Dan | August 26, 2004 04:57 PM
"It’s not your life; it’s just how you fund it."
Brilliant.
10 | Bond Girl | August 26, 2004 07:05 PM
Hurrah! So glad to hear you've got your creative mojo back. And thank you for kick starting (yet) another day at work!
11 | Dani | August 26, 2004 08:02 PM
"Work is not your life. It's just how you fund it."
my new motto.
thank you.
12 | bridget | August 26, 2004 10:36 PM
yeah I have always said that my job is only a paycheck. It is soooo not my life. They made me take the Series 11 Exam and after finally passing it a couple of weeks ago--guess what I am doing? Going to Film School. I applied today. Drrrrr
13 | jocelyn | August 26, 2004 11:42 PM
you totally inspire me, lady!
14 | domin8trix | August 27, 2004 12:53 AM
That is the greatest thing I've read all week.
15 | Jenny | August 27, 2004 05:04 AM
It’s not your life; it’s just how you fund it. I love that.
16 | ruby | August 27, 2004 10:37 AM
You were the inspiration for todays entry on my blog. Don't worry, you were credited. Hope you don't mind!
17 | The Lobster | August 27, 2004 02:03 PM
So, I just wrote my boyfriend whom I just moved in with a sappy email about us making it through the boxes and mess and his mother coming from Scotland next week to stay with us for two weeks and then I read your entry. And, I know, I really get it. I’ve job-hunting since January with disappointing results. And, the move is overwhelming. And, there seems to be too much to do and many people to disappoint along the way. And yet, to quote another eloquent blog, “Schopenhauer said, ‘when you look back on your life, it looks as though it were a plot, but when you are into it, it's a mess: just one surprise after another. Then, later, you see it was perfect.' Sometimes there are little glimpses of the perfection, amidst the mess. It is at those times we feel blessed beyond measure." (http://www.kerismith.com/blog/) And, my anxieties are hushed.
Thank you for your moment of clarity. I lost my perspective and I think it’s coming back.
18 | bmd | August 27, 2004 02:20 PM
Thanks for the reminder. Most excellent!
19 | Wicked H | August 27, 2004 02:30 PM
intense!
love,
jason mulgrew
internet quasi-celebrity
20 | Jason Mulgrew | August 27, 2004 03:19 PM
I found your blog through a friend's...You both made me sit back and think today and remember the important things...work is not your life, it's just how you fund it...that is one of the most profound things I've heard (or read) in a while..thank you...
21 | Secret Keeper | August 27, 2004 03:39 PM
"Men for the sake of getting a living forget how to live." - Margaret Fuller
22 | koppar | August 27, 2004 10:58 PM
a means to an end.
23 | Girl Friday | August 28, 2004 06:01 PM
you inspire me sweetheart.
24 | scarlettholly | September 2, 2004 11:55 AM