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just plum psyched
In my defense, the last five books I have read are the following: Naked, Turbulent Souls, Kitchen Confidential , Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Volume I (yes, I read cookbooks. I keep hoping it will help.), and damn near all of Katharine Graham's autobiography before I couldn’t take any more of how boring she managed to make the most important events of the twentieth century and threw it down in defeat and disgust. While they are not the most intellectual books ever written, I feel I have to disclaim them because it only gets worse from here:
I just read Bergdorf Blondes. In 48 hours. But only because hanging out with my friends got in the way of me finishing it sooner. And I really, truly enjoyed it.
If you ask me just how this came to pass, I will explain that my best friend bought it for me for Christmas in what must have been an attempt to level out my inherently condescending attitude toward Oprah-style chick lit books with the elongated women and whimsically drawn martini glasses on their covers. I will also argue that all of these wedding websites, bridal magazines (that weigh in at a metric ton) and discussions of glass votives versus bud vases which have consumed my last two weeks have clearly had softening effects on my brain. Finally, I’ll tell you that it’s not my fault because I had nothing else to read, and you will – and should – roll your eyes because while all of the above excuses are true, it’s really about none of that.
Frankly, it’s but the third day of the New Year, and I already feel an avalanche of pressure on my shoulders to set a date! register! pick a dress! and a florist! find that new job! freelance, somehow! learn to fox trot! poach the perfect egg! lose the under-eye cirlcles! and those last ten pounds! or else! Plus, my cell phone just crapped out on me, I have some strange bug bites on my shoulders, and my gync seems to have gone AWOL and my prescription is about to run out.
But Bergdorf Blondes was like a 300-page dose of my friend Jocelyn. And whether they realize it or not, everyone needs a dose of Jocelyn in their life. When you come over, crushed because some guy stood you up and are too gloomy to do anything else, Jocelyn will quickly remind you that there is nothing wrong with you that two drinks can’t fix. She promises to throw you the best Brooklyn loft engagement party throw-down you have ever witnessed but only if you promise not to make her be your bridesmaid. (She’s allergic to taffeta.) She helps you explain to your significant other why $30 panties are necessary purchases, and why he should either support the habit or at least match funds. She still feels that she is owed the Bailey’s-infused French toast I made on New Years Day four years ago which she was too hung over to come to Manhattan to consume. (And instead put on her Jackie O sunglasses, called a car service, waited an extra twenty minutes for the one with the tinted windows to be available, and had the driver take her across Greenpoint so she could go to the McDonalds with the drive-through, tipping the man with a Happy Meal. I am not original enough to make this stuff up.) You might be horrified by this behavior, and maybe even rightly so, but you would also be missing the point: Overpriced two-inch swaths of Italian lace are better than their well-budgeted (read: scratchy) alternatives, two drinks fix most things, at the very least your memory, and life is more fun when you know there will be spiked brunch foods in your future.
As you can imagine, I can’t wait for the sequel.
comments (14)
Sounds a lot more fun than Tort Law and Alternatives.
1 | Frankenstein | January 3, 2005 05:22 PM
Everyone could use a little Jocelyn in their life...does she travel, perchance? :-)
2 | Howard | January 3, 2005 05:42 PM
david sedaris is awesome. if you liked naked at all, you definitely have to read the rest of his stuff... it gets better. "the santa land diaries" in his holidays on ice still make me laugh. "me talk pretty one day" also has some fabulous essays.
i will also admit, if you want to get just a bit more enjoyment out of his stories, get them on audiobook. not only are his stories good, he is a master at telling them just right.
3 | ac | January 3, 2005 06:35 PM
$30 for panties? I do have a lot to learn...
4 | michael | January 3, 2005 07:49 PM
OMG I LOVE it when your blog is about ME ME ME! Aha ha ah aha ha ha ah ah ha! Cheers sweetie!
Oh and you definitely need to pick a date--for your engagement party. I am back from Mexico on the 11th. So after that.
Jocelyn
5 | jocelyn | January 3, 2005 08:04 PM
Um, Michael...how much are you currently paying? Sorry...couldn't resist.
6 | Howard | January 3, 2005 09:41 PM
Delurking to say-Bailey’s-infused French toast??? Quick, how do you make that. Sounds like something that my hisbands and our best friends would kill for. Seriously, do you have a recipe?
7 | Abby | January 3, 2005 11:25 PM
Replace half the milk with Baileys. Swoon.
8 | deb | January 4, 2005 07:07 AM
Loved Bergdorf Blondes. Oh - and if you want my bridal magazines, you are more than welcome to them, I'd be happy to ship them to you in NY, most of them are Boston-themed but still have lots of cool ideas and of course are very recent. Let me know.
9 | Erin | January 4, 2005 07:23 AM
I second the David Sedaris recommendation and loooved Kitchen Confidential. I actually read that one while in Paris!
10 | Glenn | January 4, 2005 08:13 AM
I recommend this one.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0385335830/qid=1104853074/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/002-1820017-9112054?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
I think you might find it highly amusing.
11 | akaellen | January 4, 2005 10:39 AM
this blog has officially jumped the shark.
but happy engagement.
12 | i'm a lemming | January 4, 2005 04:22 PM
Bergdorf Blondes was a laugh riot! Also not my general fiction cup of tea, but utterly compelling in its shallowness and fabulous NYC.
13 | Courtney | January 4, 2005 04:31 PM
I loved BB so much as well. All I can say is that your putting this on your site has me thinking that I might not have to hide the book while reading it when the next one comes out!
14 | Bell | January 5, 2005 09:57 AM