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dear bloomingdales,
Thank you for the efficient and speedy processing of our engagement gifts. The arrival of our soft sage everyday china has filled me with a bliss of alarming proportions; were they just a wee bit softer, I would want to sleep with them. They make me that happy.
What I wish to take issue with is your packaging. A single serving tray was wrapped in twelve layers of bubble wrap (I’m popping it under my bare toes as we speak), within a 3-foot-squared box under sixteen gallons of Styrofoam peanuts. [Really? Styrofoam peanuts? What is this, the eighties? I thought that packing materials which will be with us longer than both the Bush dynasty and Michael Jackson’s facial parts were outlawed in the 80s. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.]
Mostly, however, I'm just bent out of shape over all the static-y hell that broke loose when my fiancé and I attempted to not further invoke the wrath of our super (who already doesn’t return calls despite our toilet malfunction for nearly a week) by breaking down the boxes ourselves and disposing of the massive quantities of packing materials. You see, the Tards from 5 4F are apparently quite exciting and, er, charged individuals; the closer we got to the foam, the further it fled from us, up the sides of the boxes, across the kitchen floor, running down the ends of our fingertips, and filling endless garbage bags, but not without a fight. It must have been some cartooned comedy, us chasing bits of Styrofoam around the apartment, while it scurryied away as fast as it could, hiding under pieces of furniture, immune to the broom, too unwieldy for the vacuum. Except, it wasn’t funny. To us. It took over an hour to break four boxes and I just can’t believe that we have packages of china, crystal, towels, linens, and luggage to go.
You know, if we’re lucky and people keep buying us stuff.
Um, thanks again,
deb
***
For those of you who are (rightfully) horrified that you were just swindled into sitting through a three paragraph rant about how tough it is when people buy you nice gifts, I offer a picture I found on my camera when downloading the others by way of an apology.
comments (10)
I'll take a strawberry. :)
1 | Rebecca | March 7, 2005 01:41 AM
eek. We did the same thing when our gifts started arriving... we diligently bagged up all the packing peanuts, broke down the boxes and hauled them to the curb. Imagine our horror, when we got home from work and found our entire block blanketed in packing peanuts from the bags that had been punctured. You literally could not see our lawn and it was August! After that, we would guiltily just take the unbroken down boxes, filled with their little burdens of environmental disaster and surreptitiously throw them in the dumpster behind a restaurant in our neighborhood.
I know, I know... we're horrible people.
2 | Daniella | March 7, 2005 07:55 AM
I hate to be the total nerd who says this - but eventually someone will, so why not me - most packing peanuts are biodegradable these days.
3 | devon | March 7, 2005 09:06 AM
Yes, strawberries - like beer - make everything better! :)
4 | michael | March 7, 2005 10:50 AM
no deb, that is not an acceptable apology.
5 | hubs | March 7, 2005 11:15 AM
The secret is to get your hands wet... the only way to chase those suckers down.
6 | Robert | March 7, 2005 12:22 PM
Just wanted to post this lil' link for you:
http://www.ehow.com/how_9170_recycle-packaging-peanuts.html
It's a website that gives recommendations on how to recycle packing peanuts in your area. ("your" meaning: "whereever you live in the United States" and not specific to Deb.)
While some companies do use biodegradeable packing peanuts, many companies do not. Check your local area for companies who recycles them. Better to drop them off for re-use than to send them to a landfill somewhere!
~M
7 | Melissa | March 7, 2005 04:27 PM
(bah! It added extra spaces which it didn't show in the Preview option... Sorry for the spacing on my last post.)
8 | Anonymous | March 7, 2005 04:28 PM
Sorry did you post about styrofoam?? I was too busy drooling over your dishes...
9 | Caren | March 7, 2005 10:26 PM
hahaha - foam chasers! I can just picture it. :)
10 | Jane Smith | March 8, 2005 12:38 PM