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help

Actual conversation with my mother.
Me: Mom, I need to tell you something and before I tell you, the answer is no.
Mom: …
Me: When I start my new job I will not have health insurance for one whole month and no, I will not get Cobra for one month “just in case.”
Mom: @#$%*!!!.
Me: … I just think that paying $550 for one friggin month of health insurance is ridiculous and if something happens and I am financially screwed, you can tell me ‘I told you so’ but paying that much for one more of insurance is insanity. I will not feed the demon.
Mom: ?!?!
Me: … And no, I will not let you pay for it. Or Alex. And before you tell me how much prescriptions cost without insurance I’ll have you know that my only one is the Pill and I checked with my pharmacist and he told me that the full price of my pill is $45 and that is far more reasonable than $550, so I won’t discuss this with you anymore. I know that me not having health insurance is going to give you nightmares and I’m sorry, but I’ve made my decision and I’m not budging.
Mom: Can I just say one thing?
Me: Okay, but I told you, my decision is final.
Mom: Just don’t go skiing.
Me: Mom! Do you have that little faith in my skiing abilities?!
Mom: …
Me: I told you I skied well my first time last month!
Mom: I know you did. But still promise me you won’t go skiing.

***

Anyway.
That said, I haven’t gone skiing.

But, Jocelyn’s best friend did. And she broke her leg, badly. And she needs surgery that will probably cost $25,000. And she’s a masseuse, a really good one, but she’s self-employed and she doesn’t have insurance and she won’t be able to work or make money for months, and we’re all going to do whatever we can to help. Including me.

I know this is a little odd because you don’t know this girl and she doesn’t know you, but say you gave a dollar. And a lot of other people did. And I could write her a check for all of that plus more from Alex and I and it helped, even a little. I don’t want to cheese out on you guys and start yammering on about Oprah-esque topics like paying it forward, but god knows how many dollars we all toss around that don’t help anyone do anything...

Please just think about it?

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Update, or shameless plea to get the men to open their wallets: Picture from last summer to right. Amanda's the one lying down. Look at those previously flawless knees! Ok, that just made me sad...

comments (46)

There was some weird error message at the end of that transaction, but it looks like you got everything okay! Thanks for all of your writing!

1 | K | March 11, 2005 11:07 AM

Not that I'm an attorney or anything, but I do work for a benefits service company, and about COBRA, if you'd like to bolster your argument - a lapse of coverage of less than 63 days will not affect your new coverage and you will not be subject to any waiting periods or anything like that. Also, if something DOES haage is available, you will be able to retroactivelppen in the thirty days before your new covery elect coverage. By law, your employer must give you at least 60 days to elect coverage (if it is elected, it is always effective back to your termination date).

Not that you needed further justification or anything, but not electing COBRA is a very practical decision.

2 | Kate | March 11, 2005 11:09 AM

Geez, what happened there? Some sort of cut and paste thing, I guess. The sentence was supposed to read: Also, if something DOES happen in the thirty days before your new coverage is available, you will be able to retroactively elect coverage.

3 | Kate | March 11, 2005 11:13 AM

You guys are amazing! Thank you.

4 | deb | March 11, 2005 11:28 AM

This Amanda chick had better be hot.

5 | scott | March 11, 2005 11:30 AM

I've done my good deed for the week (is $1 considered good?). This is a great thing you're doing. Good luck!!

6 | Nicole | March 11, 2005 11:37 AM

Amanda Rose is a total sexy hot babalious--with a swollen knee :-(

Thank you SO much Deb. She is really gonna appreciate this! Drrrrrrrr

7 | jocelyn | March 11, 2005 11:40 AM

deb:
one of the great things about having a blog as well-read as yours is that in addition to keeping all of your readers entertained, you have an amazing way to reach a broad audience of people who can help. i hope that my donation and those of the rest of the group that click here daily can help your friend.

and just in case, stay off those skis for the next few weeks ;)

margot

8 | Margot | March 11, 2005 11:53 AM

Alright, I'm giving money.

My sympathy is not terribly great for folks who choose not to be covered by a health plan just b/c it's expensive. However, I do greatly admire folks like you who lay out for folks like her who will always have to rely on the kindness of strangers.

9 | Bond Girl | March 11, 2005 11:56 AM

meow! That sounds bitchy. Did not mean to sound that bitchy. Mea culpa.

10 | Bond Girl | March 11, 2005 12:00 PM

It's the act that counts and Amanda, all grogged up on painkillers right now, says 'thankyou.'

11 | deb | March 11, 2005 12:02 PM

As a former HR person, I second Kate's statement. Go skiing! If something happens and you need medical coverage, you can come home and elect to pay the $550 so long as you're within the 60 day window.

12 | Milo | March 11, 2005 12:26 PM

Hmmm, I just have to say that this makes me really thankful that I'm not American. I'm not trying to bash the states or Americans but I think that your health care system is criminal. Land of the Just and Free?!

13 | Alayne | March 11, 2005 12:34 PM

Howdy,
It's not enough for surgery but maybe my donation can buy her a beer or two

14 | Sam | March 11, 2005 12:51 PM

Joo got some o'me muny, dahlin'. (I gave and wish her well.)

15 | ccs178 (Chris) | March 11, 2005 01:01 PM

I got an error message at the end...hope the transaction went through.

16 | Robert | March 11, 2005 01:20 PM

OMG you guys are soooooooo nice.

17 | jocelyn | March 11, 2005 01:25 PM

Sent a dollar. I'm self employed and I keep breaking my foot. I feel her pain.

Good thing you are doing. That's why I read you.
M.

18 | Chelle in San Diego | March 11, 2005 01:26 PM

I hope Amanda gets better as soon as possible. I always wanted the internet to work this way and now days. Yay.
P.S.
To Alayne, a good health care is hard to come by anywhere. And although there are a lot of problems in the American healthcare system, i still believe it's better than the "universal" healthcare system of say Canada or Western European countries. So please don't pity us and to answer your question, yes it is (last time i checked having little money does not mean you suffered an injustice and you are enslaved).

19 | Petitedov | March 11, 2005 01:28 PM

I paid it forward, but also got an error message at the end. I sure hope you received it!

20 | Cate | March 11, 2005 02:12 PM

Get well soon!

I had a friend who 'lost' four fingers on one hand in a construction job. No insurance either. Luckily they have to treat emergency injuries regardless but he could not afford rehabilitation once they sewed them back on...

He went back to Ireland where all this is free.

On a side note, for someone to purchase private full comprehensive health insurance in Ireland for a family of 6 for ONE year is less than what it costs me to cover myself here for four MONTHS on a basic plan. Similar to UK rates too.

21 | michael | March 11, 2005 02:14 PM

Did what I could (being underpaid grad student and all that!!). It gave me an error message at the end too but I think you're getting the contribs alrite.

Really nice of you to do this though.

-w@w

22 | wormatwork | March 11, 2005 03:17 PM

My sympathy is not terribly great for folks who choose not to be covered by a health plan just b/c it's expensive.

Um, yeah, hi, it's called "we can't afford it." I'm self-employed. My "choice" is between not having health insurance, or having health insurance but no electricity, heat, telephone, and either defaulting on my student loans or not eating anything, ever. That's what I'd have to give up to afford a health plan. But, hey, I've heard it's better than "the 'universal' healthcare system of say Canada or Western European countries!"

23 | devon | March 11, 2005 04:30 PM

For those who saw an error at the end of their donation - you may need to update your web browser. :-)

Deb, Glad to help out your friend. I know what it's like to have a friend in need, and it's great to see how people are willing to step up and help them - even strangers. Best wishes for her speedy recovery.

~M

24 | Melissa | March 11, 2005 05:04 PM

Hey, for the 12th time today, I just want to thank everyone. You are blowing - my, Joc's, Amanda's, everyone's - mind with your kindness.

Oh, and an old friend just called to invite Alex and I up to her lodge in the Adirondacks skiing next weekend. SKIING. And I, a 29-year-old woman, said with a straight face, "But I promised my mom I wouldn't ski!"

25 | deb | March 11, 2005 05:14 PM

Why did you tell your Mom at all? I would have waited until the end of the month. It seems to have solved most of my problems with my Mom (but not all of them obviously since I'm posting this).

--
Ced


26 | Cedric | March 11, 2005 05:47 PM

Deb, I heard you were the one who helped Breakup Babe get her book deal. You've been very giving of yourself, and once again, with this gesture I think it's clear to all of us that you've got a heart of gold. I hope my small contribution can help with the bigger cause. DD/surfingpotato

27 | Dating Dummy | March 11, 2005 05:58 PM

Done, given, ten bucks. My good deed for the week.

I personally think it's fucking ridiculous that the COBRA costs $550 for a month. I don't blame you, Deb. And, you know that if you break your leg (or your arm or your ass or whatever) whilst skiing, we will all pitch in and help. And your mother will get the opportunity to say "I told you so."

28 | Julie | March 11, 2005 07:28 PM

Great Debs! You make me proud. I personaly don't want to risk the error message, so when I see you tomorrow evening, I'll give you a contribution (to a wonderful cause).

Aside: Even Ayn Rand would approve since it is voluntary. :-)

29 | SantaDad | March 11, 2005 07:43 PM

I wanna see a chart of how we're going on showing her the money! :)

Seriously, I wish her the best of luck.

30 | Emily Drew | March 11, 2005 09:28 PM

"But I promised my mom I wouldn't ski!"

Did you say anything about snowboarding?

31 | Neil | March 11, 2005 09:40 PM

yeah, i don't tell my mother anything. it leads to guilt-ridden phone calls in which she tells me how much sleep she lost from worrying about me.

hey, i'm gimping around as well because of seriously banged up knee. i feel like i should wear a sign that reads: I'M NOT DRUNK, I'M INJURED!!

you can read about here: http://stumptowngrl.blogspot.com


32 | erika | March 11, 2005 10:44 PM

I think this is a great thing you are doing, and feel the need to help out, even just the little bit I could give. Hope it helps somewhat! Good luck to Amanda.

33 | Faith | March 12, 2005 12:45 AM

good luck to Amanda, i gave a five-spot and got an error message also--Deb, if you don't receive it, let me know and I'll send you a check or cash.

34 | daniella | March 12, 2005 11:06 AM

I'm not sure about the error message because when I try to donate it tells me "you can't donate to yourself." However, the money seems to be going through... THANK YOU EVERYONE... so I wouldn't worry about it.

35 | deb | March 12, 2005 12:15 PM

Re: " And although there are a lot of problems in the American healthcare system, i still believe it's better than the "universal" healthcare system of say Canada or Western European countries."

Petitedov, really, what a load of rubbish. How on earth you can defend an American health"care" system that discriminates against the very people that need it but can't afford it? And what's with the quote marks around "universal"? here in the UK universal means just that - free healthcare is available to anyone, regardless of their insurance status.

And try telling the detainees in camp x ray that America is the "land of the free".

36 | nicola | March 13, 2005 11:13 AM

Shameless pleas are always guaranteed to work with us Australian boys :)

$5 is heading Amanda's way, hope she feels better soon!

Adam

37 | Adam | March 13, 2005 04:46 PM

Thank you Adam. Amanda & I have a soft spot for Australian boys--They are always so hot and the accent drives us wild!

38 | jocelyn | March 13, 2005 08:13 PM

Deb, just gave $8, a number for "chai" and hopefully it went through - i didn't get an error message, but it was a bit unclear if the donation was actually made. if not, please let me know and i'll do it agai. i hope amanda is feeling better.

39 | writersbloc gal | March 14, 2005 12:41 PM

I hope all of this helps! So wonderful to see good things happening on the internet. I was surprised to not get an error message after everyone saying they received one.

This is wonderful what you are doing, Deb. You are a great friend with a kind heart!

40 | Courtney | March 14, 2005 01:06 PM

Wow, this went downhill from "Please help my friend in need" to "The USA Sucks" in quick order. I hope it doesn't end up overshadowing what Deb is doing. You folks that are perpetuating this diatribe should be ashamed of yourselves.

41 | ccs178 (Chris) | March 14, 2005 03:34 PM

Having recently returned to the ranks of the insured after a year of non-, I can imagine how panicked she must be. I hope it helps.

42 | Esther | March 15, 2005 02:46 PM

i know what it's like not to have health insurance and how lost you feel. I wish your friend all the best.

43 | francesa | March 15, 2005 05:03 PM

those are some nice legs
the Master will have to donate a buck for sure

44 | Master Foley | March 22, 2005 04:34 PM

Let me get this straight... Smitten, you write your diary on line, and people give you money?

A.K.A. "Blogging"?

45 | anonymous dude | March 25, 2005 12:41 PM

I didn't have health insurance for two years or so...I was no longer covered under my mom's insurance because I was no longer a full time college student. Normally, the University makes you get insurance from them if you don't have your own, but I clicked the no button (because I thought I'd be covered by mom's). In that year I never once got sick or injured...it think it was carma...like when I was 21 and went to the dentist for the first time in my life, things were great, I went back 6 mo. later for a cleaning and was told I had a cavity. Hmm. Sounds fishy to me.

46 | Lisa | June 30, 2005 09:35 AM

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