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the reticent bride
Some girls are made for this: the big party, white dresses, fairytale endings – they never imagined their lives any other way, and in their planning for The Day, they’ve compensated for those weak moments after bad dates when they worried that it might not work out the way they had planned. Other girls would never; they won’t align themselves behind the archaic symbols, they consider it a sham, and if they, should they ever, at the very least they will not wear white.
But between The ‘Certainly’-s and The ‘No Way Never’-s live girls like me, who neither abhor tradition nor wish to throw themselves into it blindly. Promises are made at the outset to not turn into one of “those girls”, to not be constantly immersed in debates about throw-away bouquets and impossible-to-detect differences in bridesmaid dress hues, to not let the taffeta fill both the idle parts of their brain and gaps in conversations with friends. But as these items slip defiantly and remarkably seamless into everyday talk over brunch, over beer, at first apologies are made as friends eyes glaze over, but slowly you can no longer hide what occupies the majority of your thoughts and there you are, talking about font faces on invitation proofs over lunch with coworkers.
And every Bridezilla you have ever mocked cackles because you totally had it coming, what with the ever-present superior attitude and snarking remarks about theknot.com. And I – I have become the reticent bride. I never knew that planning a wedding would be this much work. I thought I’d had it down in a ten-point, bulleted list: dress, flowers, food, rabbi, etc. My method was to be goal-oriented, to make every decision with as much speed and little fuss as possible; check, check, check. I was going to beat the odds.
… Until the font and icons kept coming back wrong, my sister and I did not love the dress that my mother had chosen, the hotel across the street turned out to be obscenely expensive and required that any room blocked be paid in full even if not needed, the bridesmaid dresses became a point of contention, and I thought the candles supplied by the florist were ugly. And every Monday morning conversation became:
“What did you do this weekend?”
“Wedding stuff.”
And in a matter of months, the girl who used to say stuff like, “it’s just a party” and “it’s only one day of your life,” got squeezed out by a total, well, Bride.
… Who, so help her, will completely lose her shit if that invitation comes back with a “swirl” instead of a “swish” icon one more time.
comments (12)
Ah happy days. Its all to encourage you to only go through this once! :)
1 | michael | March 28, 2005 04:26 PM
welcome to my world. less than 2 months left and no weekends to speak of
when is the big day? you make it sound like its soon
2 | cristina | March 28, 2005 08:01 PM
amazingly written post! *well said*
3 | mer | March 28, 2005 09:42 PM
Oh good god, I'm still one of those girls who swears she won't be "one of THOSE girls" if ever the time comes. Please tell me you aren't saying that this is something that is completely unavoidable?
4 | wendy | March 28, 2005 10:19 PM
Oh come on...you're a real hottie.
5 | Esther | March 28, 2005 10:34 PM
Oh trust me.. you always become one of "those" girls.. unless you Vegas it. I swore no white poofy dress, as I was having one made... until I stepped into a bridal shop and bam, no salons or veils and no big reception. Lots of money and poofy dresses later we were hitched. But it made me feel so princessy.. it was worth it.
6 | Jenny | March 29, 2005 10:36 AM
Love the new look of your site! Very springy.
7 | Nicole | March 29, 2005 11:37 AM
yeah, well, i totally thought i had the 10-point bulleted list as well, and it's turned into a 7-page powerpoint presentation with animation. i'm going in.sane.
8 | devlyn | March 29, 2005 03:11 PM
At least you're admitting it! It's really only THE WORST when your formerly sane friends completely ignore the fact that they've become wedding obsessed.
9 | ap | March 30, 2005 09:31 AM
You sound like me! I always said I'd be happy with a courthouse wedding... small and simple.
And now... I'm engaged- and planning, and planning... I have a page on theknot.com - I have bridal magazines - I have pics of dresses saved! I'm becoming one of them!
Congrats to you- it's a special day... we should make it fun and worth remembering! :)
10 | Stef | March 30, 2005 11:35 AM
There is one thig I know for sure, i'm never getting married. With that being said, I run an advice website. If you ever have any questions about relationships or anything else let me know. I respond quickly.
Morris
http://wwww.crazypromofun.com
11 | Morris | March 30, 2005 08:28 PM
Our parents plan and finance the whole show:-)
12 | BridalBeer | April 1, 2005 07:06 AM