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ingrate
As a couple exceedingly generous friends can attest, my thank you notes are atrocious.
This is all particularly embarrassing because I’m supposed to be fancying myself a writer these days, but ask me to express my gratitude for the washcloths, I am - for once - heinously short on words. (Where this tongue-tied experience is when I rant to the internet about my difficult life of getting lots of gifts and having to say thank you, is a different story.)
So, as you may have noted from my Backpackit page, I ordered a book to help this process along
With the help of this book, I have decided to rewrite the aforementioned thank you note:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. ____How can I ever begin to thank you for the fabulous washcloths you gave us for our engagement? Not only will our bathroom be right in style, but once again you outdid yourself. How’d you know it was the perfect match for our towels and bathmats? Your stylish gift will update our whole bathroom.
Our warmest thanks always,
Deb and Alex(Ripped from a thank you note to Phyllis for a belt, p. 66.)
If only this had arrived sooner. Imagine how it could have helped me before I mailed out the following train wreck of well-intended correspondence:
Dear Person Who I Do Not Know That Works With My Mother But Is Not Invited To the Wedding and Does Not Know My Fiancé’s Name But Gave Us Cold Hard Cash,Thank you! You’re the best! Alex and I took one look at that pile of dough and knew immediately what was in order. “Bender!” we said in unison. Sixteen hours later we pulled ourselves up off the bathroom floor, looked lovingly in each other’s bloodshot eyes, and sighed, because what is romance but two minds always on the same page?
Best. Present. Ever.
Love,
Deb and ‘Fiance’
P.S. If I'm not here tomorrow, it's because my mother killed me.
comments (9)
You are freakin hysterical!
1 | Nicole | May 11, 2005 05:50 PM
You know, honesty *is* the best policy...
2 | mingaling | May 11, 2005 07:49 PM
Oh, I so can't wait to get my thank you note. If you promise to make them that funny, I might send two gifts.
3 | Alexis | May 11, 2005 10:48 PM
Best. Thank you Notes. Ever.
4 | ap | May 12, 2005 07:16 AM
we don't know each other but I think I have some crystal sherry decanters left over from 1980 that you and Alexis might enjoy...still in their original boxes I might add. Let me know...
5 | Mary | May 12, 2005 07:48 AM
If I ever have the need to send out thank-you notes again, I shall remember your "blender!" note and write with humor.
6 | Alli | May 13, 2005 01:05 AM
Heh. I just got the thank-you that you sent -- it got routed to my old address, and I just received it. I think it's pretty damned good, myself. Nicely done!
7 | Jg | May 16, 2005 06:16 PM
Ok, well technically it's easier when you KNOW the person, at least somewhat, and can make bad jokes. But washcloths? Strangers? I have yet to come up with anything decent. :)
(Oh, and thanks. The check's in the mail.)
8 | deb | May 16, 2005 08:03 PM
Was looking up ingrate and was directed to your page...you are so funny...I think you should write a book, I would buy a copy for all my friends....
thanks for a great laugh
9 | TG | May 25, 2005 11:09 AM