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you ain't seen nothing yet
At Alex’s going away party Thursday, I told him that while the Russian tutor he’d found for me sounded great, I’d prefer a male one. Young, please. Additionally, rugged good looks might help improve my speed of cultural absorption. His father, standing right next to us, looked horrified.
On Saturday I announced to Alex that we should really consider living abroad for a year before we get too settled and wish to start a family. When he cruelly pointed out the near-impossibility of this plan, I huffed, “So, we’re just going to be stuck here forever?”
And this weekend, I lopped off my hair. The hairdresser said, “Really? But aren’t you getting married in four months?” And I said, “Yes, and I’ll be back here before then to dye it pink. To match the napkins, of course.”
Somewhere, a WeddingChannel.com editor is screaming out - aghast, agonized. Haven’t they taught brides anything? How could I have committed the cardinal sin of not growing my hair into long, flowing locks before my Big Day TM? How could I even entertain the thought of men I will not be marrying? How dare I refer to a settled-down life as “stuck”?
But they can kiss it, really. I mean, I’m only just getting started. I’ve got ten pounds to gain, at least one dish-breaking hissy fit, and two more bridesmaids to make resent me to go. And should this horrify anyone, I will simply remind them to be grateful; at least I choose socially-acceptable methods of acting out pre-matrimonial stress. It could be so much worse.
comments (6)
how short is it? sharon stone short or chin length or what?
i've been toying with the idea of shaving my head when i get married some day. (and by "toying" i mean i just thought of it but whatever)
1 | kate | May 3, 2005 02:20 PM
You know that every time I go to Randy's salon, the receptionist bothers me about my short hair? She even tries to get me to put in extensions.
Whatever!!
2 | Christa | May 3, 2005 03:22 PM
i cut my hair 4 months before my wedding, too. i waited until it was half gone before i told my stylist, at which point he turned ten shades of white and was going through all sorts of mental acrobats trying to figure out how to glue it back on. the horror! a bride with chin length hair!
bridedom can be quite hilarious.
3 | emily | May 5, 2005 08:27 AM
guilty--I am a bride growing it out...but I am trying to figure out a way to squeeze in a haircut to chop it off before we leave for the honeymoon.
speaking of honeymoon, where are yall going?
(you can take the girl outta texas, but you cant take the texas outta the girl)
4 | Cristina | May 5, 2005 09:44 PM
Acapulco. Yay!
5 | deb | May 6, 2005 08:03 AM
Three months before my wedding, I cut several inches off my hair. Then, I dyed it. Then, thinking it was too dark, I bleached it out with a home kit and re-dyed it. And if that wasn't enough, I then gave myself a home perm unassisted. I did all of that inside of three weeks. When I look at my wedding pictures, I'm still amazed that my hair stayed attached to my head at all.
6 | schmutzie | May 6, 2005 10:14 AM