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39 days to go: taffeta tyranny
I used to think that wedding planners were for those kinds of girls. The obsessively self-involved ones; the ones who felt that their Special Day™ was the party of the century, and also, the event of the season. The type that sent back her invitations three times because the tint of the border wasn’t correct, the one who would be ashamed to walk down the aisle in anything less than Vera Wang clutching a bouquet dyed to match the chosen color scheme – garnet! The girl whose party was planned long before she ever met the groom, a guy who knows better than to share his take on the events of “her party.” His job is to just show up; hers is to be a pretty pretty princess.
Looking out over the less than six weeks we have left before the wedding, I’m realizing there are a lot of beach trips and barbeques and happy hours we’re just not getting to this summer. There are florists to get samples from, menus to choose, cakes to taste, thank you notes to begin, tuxes to decide upon, non-RSVP-ed guests to track down, rabbis to meet with, programs to print, teeth to whiten, legal stuff to arrange, dancing to learn how to do, and things blue to procure. To some people maybe this sounds like a deliciously good time, but me, I just want my summer back.
Maybe those girls were onto something – outsourcing! Redeeming their friends from endless discussions of the price of tulle, the width of ribbon trim, and the cost of Viennese tables that nobody will have enough hunger leftover to enjoy. Or, maybe it’s just me who wants to be redeemed. Maybe living, breathing, and thinking about nothing but this five hour party has left me feeling shallow and insipid, like all those that I mock. Is this something that everyone feels at some point? That the Pretty Pretty Princesses marrying the Just Show Up Wearing a Tux kind of folks who pay others to do their dirty work have it all figured out? Or has the Taffeta Tyranny finally had it's way with me.
***
Alternate, rejected title – 39 days to go: I continue to whine and pout about my so-called arduous and trying life while you roll your eyes because we all know my life is neither arduous nor trying.
In an effort to balance out my hideous and incessant whining of late, guess what?!
- My friend Ang got me the “Shit Bitch You Is Fine” bear! She did! Isn’t she the coolest?
- Last Saturday, I was on a New Jersey Transit train and this guy’s cell phone went off and do you know what his ring was? “HOOLLLLAAAA… You got a phone call! HOOLLLLAAAA… You got a phone call!” Must. Get. That.
- I drew a pig!
- Last but hands-down sweetest, Benjamin Wagner sent me an MP3 of him singing “The Only Living Boy In New York.” Couldn’t you just melt? How is this boy still single?
comments (6)
actually I just come here when I need a good laugh
I want to write my whiney ass posts like you do
1 | Master Foley | July 20, 2005 03:59 PM
I appreciate the laugh too and what you call the whining. I am getting married next year and just thinking about planning makes me panic. I definitely have no idea what I am getting into and would love to elope, but instead I told my fiance that I will be there if he wants and I will be wearing a dress, the rest can be up to him.
2 | nancy | July 20, 2005 04:08 PM
Oh, sweetie! Your instincts are right on track: wedding planners ARE for those kind of brides, who sadly do have that delegating thing totally covered. That is because they have many many mani-pedi appointments to make, and much shopping to do to maintain their precious little selves in royal splendor in the crucial weeks and months leading up to the big event.
Take heart: you have not become what you mock. Some days, a win like that is the only win you're going to get.
3 | georgia | July 20, 2005 09:42 PM
Now, see? I thought your title read taffeta TRANNIE!
4 | Christa | July 21, 2005 10:17 AM
Oh sweet pea! I am the most do-it-yourself-so-someone-else-doesn't-f-it-up kind of person on the whole planet, and I hired a wedding planner - not to plan the whole thing, mind you - but to make sure that the details are being taken care of and I know what I have to do when. Best $$$ I have ever spent, hands down. You don't want to have to give the responsibility of making sure your vendors are there to a friend or family memeber - they're stressed and trying to enjoy themselves too! And then if anything turns into a disater, you don't have that between you. Anyways - end of rant - you'll be just fine!! :)
5 | Kara | July 21, 2005 10:54 AM
couldn't agree more! I didn't think a planner would be worth the money and it didn't seem like something I would do at all. But man - now I wish I had!! I have less than 3 weeks to go and I still have a million things to do. While I'm psyched for the wedding and everything, right now I just can't wait to get all this planning over with already! One year of planning has been one year too many for this bride. I want my weekends back!
6 | nicole | July 27, 2005 04:54 PM