i go with wyfe.

You know the *great* thing that no one tells you about marriage? It's yours.

You get to define what it means to be a wife.

If, to you, it means badass traveling companion of hotness, so it shall be, sister.

I say this because I was on the Wife Train too about five and a half years ago, feeling the same bats and going through all that monkey-mind, and as it turns out, I'm not cut out to be That kind of wife. Luckily C knew this by our third date so we're cool. And I bet you're cool, too.

You know, this could just be a (relatively) safe thing to worry about, rather than worrying about the hundred feet of aisle you have to walk down with people staring at you.

But here's the other great thing: they likely won't be staring as much as smiling, beaming at you with all the love in their hearts, wishing you all the best, because what, tell me, is more hopeful, more joyful, than a wedding?

paul riser, whom i love and would marry in a nanosecond if, you know, he wasn't already taken, uses bride. they've been married for more than a decade i believe. he explained it once while he was on a late night talk show -- something about her being beautiful and him always wanting to remember her on their special day. or something like that. i thought it was sweet.

Long time lurker here . . . really, "my wife," isn't so bad. It's when he starts referring to you as "the wife" that you should be scared. ;)

You should remember that both of you are going to have the same emotions. He is always going to be Deb's husband to a lot of people. My wife kept her maiden name and during the first year, it would drive me crazy when people would call me Mr. Her Last Name. But you quickly take it as a badge of honor when people call you "the spouse" -- especially when a lot of love is involved (as long as you remember that you're an individual, too).

It'd be sweet if he referred to you as his bride. I love that.

You'll be okay, I promise. Freaking out before any big deal life event is totally normal. I can't wait to see pictures! Lots of pictures!

Really, I think if you ask him to stick with young and more modern terms such as 'ho' and 'bed wench' then you can't go wrong.

BTW, I'm a new reader and I love your writing style!

I like wife. I like The Wife even better- it's a title like The Queen.
And best of all is what my husband of 23 years and several children still calls me, and it is, yes, his bride.

You can be his "Bride and joy" :)

Hmm. My favourite synonym dictionary doesn’t produce anything very helpful either. Consort? Matron? Missus? And, yes, old lady?

I tried to think of something else, and all I managed is “better half.” I’m not sure that’s at all better.

why is my comment being denied for questionable content????

Heheh. No idea, but, sometimes they get caught up in "pending approval" and I always approve them.

Usually, she's my bride.

Unless I want to get a rise out of her. Then she's "trouble". As in "trouble and strife".

Alex turns to introduce his new bride to his co-worker. "Joe, I would like you to meet my Love... blah, blah, blah". It's mushy and I like it! Oh and by the way, when you get there, with the wife thing, your really gonna love it. There are things in life that a wife has and gets and holds that a girlfriend or a ho never will. And I am not just talking about his life insurance. And the plus. When you get caught snooging in a public park at dust and the police officer gives you that look, you can say "What, were married!".

Mine refers to me as his "beloved". But he's kinda weird that way... especially since we're not even married and he sometimes calls me "the wife" or "the missus".

ps. just found your site... consider me a regular.

I haven't commented in a while, but I've been keeping up with all your posts. I'm so excited for and happy for you both!

We prefer the term "Wifey"

I use: "Trouble & Strife", "War Office" or "She who must be obeyed".....

ohhh, will, i'm totally snagging your last one! thanks. (80 days to go. can't wait for my butterflies. or bats.)

I say go with "squaw". I met a man in Montana who said his wife was a "good squaw."

You're gonna be just fine. ;-)

You may want to know that "squaw" is often mistranslated to woman or wife. But it is really a derogatory term meaning more along the lines of whore or cunt.

4 days... I think it's time to turn off your computer!! Best wishes on a fabulous wedding!

Deb, what I was trying to say earlier when the comment kept getting denied was:

I hated the term WIFE too, so I joked that John had to call me his Heterosexual Life Partner, or HLP.

Yeah, that didn't last too long. Now, after 10 1/2 months (holy crap, has it really been that long??) I'm starting to get used to it and even kind of like it... esp since he usually says it with a sly grin, like it's a joke between the two of us. Which it kind of is.

I love being "the wife". Really, I do. Because I, you see, am the exception that proves the rule.

I love the first comment up there. It's dead on.

You know the *great* thing that no one tells you about marriage? It's yours.

You get to define what it means to be a wife.

If, to you, it means badass traveling companion of hotness, so it shall be, sister.

Amen to that. Or Awomen. Whatever works.

I got an idea...He can call you his 'Slam Piece' and you can call him your 'Morning Wood'.

Deb - I just found you/Smitten and have to say you're now bookmarked. blah blah blah you rule.

I've been a wife to two different guys who were wrong. One "Green Card Situation" that the INS is NOT paying attention to, and a slowly self destructing would-be concert pianist.

How is this about you, you ask? As well you should? Only this - if I can get cozy with "wife" when I was with obviously wrong men, I'm SO betting you'll get happy with it with Mr. Totally Alex.

Also - BW on the wedding. And your buttercream icing photos are PORN, girl - PORN.

It was a proud moment when I first referred to Krissa in the third person as 'my wife'.

It was to a complete stranger - a dressing room attendant or something, but I liked the sound of it...

Sorry. Not helping here, am I?

You want a bad omen? On the way to the chapel, I had a huge raven kill himself by flying into my car's windshield. Tell me that wouldn't make you rethink things pronto.

The implication that marriage is good for women but bad for men drives me CRAZY. Our obnoxious neighbor is always telling bad marriage jokes...here's his latest:
What are the three rings of marriage?
Engagement ring
Wedding ring
Suffer'ring'

Blech!

Good luck! I love your journal.

My man just calls me.... his woman.

"This is my woman..."
"Hey, woman... football is on, wanna watch?"
"Woman... where's breakfast?"

I rather like it. *snicker*