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things I just can’t stop myself from saying

• Watching old Sopranos, a scene at the Bada-Bing. “Does that stripper have cellulite?” “A little.” “Is it bad if a stripper has cellulite?” “Um, well you know, it’s not, um …” “How come it’s not okay for strippers to have cellulite when it’s okay that wives have it?”

• “This chicken is so good, great job, baby.” “Is it your new favorite dish of mine?” “It’s up there.” “Is it better than your mom makes it?”

• “Can you smell that?” “No.” “Phew.”

• Saturday, 5 PM. "You know what would be fun? We should go up to see the tree at Rockefeller Center. We have two hours before the dinner party, and it can't be TOO crowded."

• “Sometimes, I wish I were a dog so I could get away with climbing onto this plate to lick it.”

• After the waiter announces the third fresh porcini special. “God, like where are you guys getting all these fresh porcini from? Are you growing them out back under a log? Because I live on the next block and I will totally come foraging in your yard if you do.”

• “I can totally have that done in two hours. No problem.”

• “We’d like to interview you on TV about a story you wrote last week.” “What was my story about again?” and “I don’t know. I’m not such an expert. You should get someone else."

• Bonus round from Alex: "Doesn’t it ever seem that babies are kind of like parasites, you know, because they feed off their hosts for nine months?" Deb: Glaring.

comments (7)

1 | Hillary | December 6, 2005 02:38 PM

2 | Shivana | December 6, 2005 09:26 PM

3 | Malena | December 6, 2005 10:46 PM

4 | Abby | December 7, 2005 12:33 AM

5 | Danielle | December 7, 2005 11:33 AM

6 | triticale | December 8, 2005 02:09 PM

7 | ses | December 14, 2005 01:56 PM

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