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slopeful dreaming
I'm going to venture to guess that the difference between me and that four-year-old with her rockin' Rainbow Brite-esque garb, careening down the mountain at astronomical speeds on her baby skis and with no poles this weekend is that I am afflicted by the unfortunate-ness labeled Knowing Enough to Be Freaked the Hell Out. Or, you know, Consequences. I understand all too well the implications of skiing at a speed I may not be able to curtail at a moment’s notice; the impossibility of a busted leg when one lives in a fourth-floor walkup and hoofs it most places; the fact that everything hurts so much more and so much longer these days than it used to. And, I’m so much less fun for it.
Apparently, I am not known for my athletic prowess, something I have long suspected in my darkest moments, but was still crushed to learn was a joint concern of my mother and mother-in-law’s in sequestered phone conversations before Ski Trip One last January. I mean, when even your mother has little faith in your ability to glide athletically/skillfully down a mountain, maybe you should just stick to the kind clumsiness you don’t have to cable up a mountain to put on display.
Still, I think I’m getting better! I spent most of my time this weekend away from the bunny slope, moving forward and downward and I didn’t fall once. Not even once! Sure, I’m so achy today, I feel like someone’s 85-year-old grandmother; it was so cold up in the mountains, its taking me days to re-warm, but Ski Trip Two was really fun and I hope to ski just like a small child someday very soon.
Oh, and speaking of the aforementioned four-year-old? Pitched a screaming, huffy, fifteen-minute temper tantrum back at the lodge, I like to think a gift just for me, to remind me not to have children any time soon, oh no, no way that while she may seem like an intimidating Winter Olympic 2020 hopeful, she’s still just someone’s spoiled brat.
comments (11)
Good story. Worth the wait. I'm sure you'll be tearing up the slopes by season's end.
1 | ugh! | January 17, 2006 07:37 PM
Yep, breathing birth control, I like to call it. Whenever I get the urge to procreate, Brad and I go out to dinner or to a movie. That'll squelch it in oh, 20 minutes.
I've never been skiing. I'm afraid of falling and breaking something, which I've also never done (the broken thing, anyway). This is probably because I've never been skiing.
2 | Abby | January 17, 2006 07:47 PM
I'm still learning to ski, too, it's super fun! I totally get you about the small children without poles. How is that ok?
3 | Sarah | January 18, 2006 11:51 AM
Screaming kids...definite birth control method. Going off topic! My fiance and I live thousands of miles away from eachother (Aruba-New York). I would to hire one of those people that will sing or recite a poem at my behalf for Valentine's Day. But what do you call them? PLEASE HELP ME :)
4 | ali | January 18, 2006 01:01 PM
ali....you mean like a singing telegram type of thing?
Deb....my boyfriend is a total ski bum, and has high aspirations of teaching me how to ski....so that we can THEN go on a mecca-ski trip. Um, how is THAT going to work? Not only am I terrified of dying, but as if he will really be content skiing with me and a bunch of toddlers on some bunny hill....because NO WAY am I ever attempting the runs he does!
Ah, what we consider doing in the name of love......
5 | farrah | January 18, 2006 03:12 PM
Farrah...Thank you so much!!!
6 | ali | January 18, 2006 03:26 PM
Sometimes, when I'm edgeing down the mountain or wobbling off the lift, I wish I was taught to ski as a young, fearless, spoiled brat.
7 | Jenn | January 18, 2006 04:56 PM
ahhh yes.. i was a kid when i learned how to ski, i was all of those things too.. young, fearless, spoiled, and im ok with adding in stupid... my 1st trip my Uncle took me.. i was whizzin all around.. he made me take the lesson they offer 1st.. but after that there was noooo stoppin me.. until
I come flyin down the slope and pass up this man layin on the ground with the ski patrol helping him..hmm, he looks, familiar? OMG! My uncle had fallen and the tip of his ski WENT.THRU.HIS.CHIN
Instantly I hated skiing.
Went back as a teenager.. not so fearless, not so stupid anymore, still spoiled tho.. I had all these people flyin past me on these big huge single skii's (what we now call snowboards) and i was like.. HAYYYYY that looks way easier, 1 big ol fat board to worry about..
Being 90 mins from Lake Tahoe, its something ya just gotta learn to do.. by far more snowboarders then the traditional ski people.
8 | Cupcakes | January 19, 2006 12:08 PM
let me attempt to construct a comment:
this is SO DUMB. i'm sorry. i know i have much better things to worry about, but i CANNOT stop obsessing. my new boyfriend wants to take me skiing, and i am like, the most uncoordinated person ALIVE. (if not THE most uncoordinate, let's just say i'm up there)... anyway, i digress. I'm not ready to break my clumsiness to this sports fanatic quite yet...any advice on how to get out of this trip? I'm thinking about feigning a "sprain" and sitting it out in the ski lounge with a cup of cocoa. anyway, let's just say i feel your pain (and hopefully that is the only pain i WILL feel)!
9 | addsa | January 19, 2006 08:41 PM
I spent Thanksgiving of 1997 learning to ski. I spent Thanksgiving dinner of 1997 drinking heavily to dull the amazing amount of pain the whole body bruising (purple is NOT my color) was causing. I then spent the day after nursing not only pain everywhere caused by the skiing but a hangover caused by the booze. Yet, I go when it's affordable...so yeah like never...but if it were cheaper I would... :P
10 | Teresa | January 21, 2006 11:47 PM
Promise me you'll go to Ãle Saint-Louis this time. It's one of the most beautiful parts of Paris. You will love my favorite shop, LâEpicerie, which sells the most gorgeous mustards, jams, olive oils, sugars (Debs!), herbs and salts in gorgeous packaging. The women who work there are so nice, too. Hmm, remind me to give you a shopping list before you go!
http://www.pariswoman.com/paris/by_areas/ile_st_louis1.htm
11 | NotoriousANG | January 27, 2006 11:55 AM