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you’re not the boss of me
At the gym on Monday night, I was scanning songs on my iPod in search of "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster," a song that I have no recollection of downloading, yet has magically appeared on my iPod, and pleases me endlessly as I persevere towards my goal of Running More Than Ten Five Minutes Straight Without Dying. I couldn’t find it.
I did, however, find fourteen songs that began with the word “Don’t.” Fourteen! And being all PMS-ed out and typically over reactive, this aggravated me all too much. Rock and roll, free your soul, you know, just don’t Ask Me Why, Breathe, Cry, Explain, Go, Forget About Me, Panic, Push Me, Stop, Trust The Stars, Turn Around, ‘Cha Go Away Mad (Just Go Away).
I know how ridiculous this sounds but all these “Don’ts” supplanting “Dos” in my headspace can only lead to avalanches of bad karma, and I want my behavioral independence back. Thus, today, a rough list of Do’s. Mostly for me, but feel to exercise your choice to play along.
- Read Chris Kula’s resignation letter, 8th Avenue walking tour, and date with Ikea and sit on your sofa holding your belly and laughing like a hyena.
- Covet some plates, god, plates! Where was I before these plates? I didn’t even need plates, but I do now. Also, go-go glasses.
- Rekindle your love affair with things you have grown too pretentious for. Tuesday night, I made Rice-a-Roni Spanish style rice with Goya black bean soup (its really not soup, just perfectly seasoned beans). Now that’s some good eats.
- Admit something, like the fact that they were actually average eats, and you think you can do better with whole ingredients. Last night, I followed up by making this and this, and despite the blow-your-face-off factor (may I suggest you seriously consider the implications of 1-2 whole cans of chipotle chilis), I was far more satisfied with the results.
- Walk somewhere. For months, I’ve been pulling my hair out over the five pounds I’ve gained since the wedding, until I realized it’s been to cold to walk to work. This morning, I picked up at least six new freckles hoofing it, and seeing as we are a Pro-Freckle household, this is good thing.
- Apply for a job completely out of your league. It’s fun! Like applying to a “reach” school, but with a slightly more bloated head. We all live in hope, don’t we?
- Sneeze with vigor. Not that I wish a cold or illness on you, but promise me if you do need to sneeze you will never instead vocalize in a faux-femme voice the words “ah” and “choo.” All over this land, and most especially in my office, there are sneezes longing for release. Please, let your next one not be one of them.
- Thin the line between you and crazy. This week, I have yelled at the New York City School Lunch program for deciding that whole milk is the enemy but sugar and fried foods are good; the television, when Oprah acted victimized by her own lack of research; and my husband, but it sounded more like: “Baby, you know you could put the dry cleaning away if you… oh, hey, aw, you put the drycleaning away! And sorry and… are you rolling your eyes at me?”
comments (7)
Here's some positive songs to help you reach your goals:
Do the Twist
Do It To Me One More Time
Do You Love Me?
Do You Remember?
Do you Want to Dance?
and of course
Love me Do
1 | Neil | February 2, 2006 12:07 PM
i secretly love Shake-n-Bake.. there, i said it.
2 | radish | February 2, 2006 01:20 PM
Long time reader, first time commenter! Love your blog!
I love "Do Ya Love Me (Now That I Can Dance)" by the Contours. It always puts me in a good mood! Also, "Do You Think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart!
3 | Heather | February 2, 2006 03:50 PM
A few observations gathered over the past 18 or so months:
1. Deb is no longer a vegetarian.
2. She has actually become a very good cook ... and I know (before and after).
3. Weight watchers ... oh well; they meant well (hope you kept all the old larger sizes Alex.)
...and
4. I don't know Chris Kula, but he is SO VERY funny!
4 | SantaDad | February 2, 2006 04:05 PM
Clarification: (Sorry Alex)
So none of you think I am accusing Alex of gaining weight, you should know that my comment above simply mirrors my own inability to be around all of that fantastic cooking and simultaneously exercise the will power to not eat it ... in excess. If I were in Alex's shoes, I'd be in lots of trouble. Come to think of it, I have been in trouble for years.
5 | SantaDad | February 2, 2006 08:11 PM
Best plates ever. And mostly, I like the pastel colored ones because of the beautiful cupcakes in the picture!
Sometimes, I buy and eat store-bought cupcakes. Phew! Feels good to get that out. I then walk them off, all the way to the store where they sell chipotle-type stuff.
6 | Tami | February 4, 2006 12:48 AM
Re, the blow-your-face-off factor of that recipe I tried: http://www.gawker.com/news/new-york-times/nyt-is-feeling-hot-hot-hot-153601.php
Vindication!
7 | deb | February 8, 2006 04:05 PM