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building a makeshift alex
Items I have requested a healthy supply of as it becomes evident that my husband's business trips will be neither infrequent nor terminating any time soon.
- Jar opener (Alex: Have you had to open any jars since I’ve been gone? Deb: No. BUT I NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING! Alex: I’ll get you flood boots.)
- Dishwasher or Disposable Dishes. I mean, he totally knew this was coming. I can cook elaborate meals or clean dishes, but doing both is just cruel.
- A Sheet Thief, so my highly refined Sleeping Sheet Death Grip doesn’t weaken
- Background Noise of the Snoring Variety
- Reminders that 11:30 is an excellent time to go to bed. It seems without him, I’ve gone back to my insomniac ways. No, that’s not true - I can sleep, I just don’t. I’ll get really busy doing something – baking, organizing, doing something craftsy – and it will not even occur to me that I should be sleeping. Last night I looked up at 1:11 AM and realized I’d completely forgotten to go to bed again. Of course this is Alex’s fault.
- A personal grammarian. Maybe it’s just because I am writing all the time now, all the live-long day, but I keep hitting these Walls of Dunce where I cannot remember even the most basic grammar or spelling. Usually I just IM my husband, because he, unlike a copy editor or any other sane individual, will not make fun of me. “My brain just farted and I can’t remember. Is it effect or affect?”
- Reminders to chill the eff out. A typical evening is me saying, “Alex, I just saw this recipe for fresh gnocchi with a whole roasted tomato sauce and homemade ricotta!” and Alex responding, “Or, we could just order Thai and go to bed early.” I so need this voice around before I start my next weekday night project.
- Content. Things get really quiet when he’s gone and I run out of ideas. Please don’t force me to look inside myself for something to write about.
- A Houseboy (Alex: No. Deb: Please. Alex: Maybe a housekeeper. Deb: Only if he’s cute.)
I suppose this is the point that I should say that while this list has been fun to write, it’s not going to make up for a missing husband. We are more than a sum of our parts, you know, and even a ten thousand item list couldn’t make it seem that he was here. But then I think, a dishwasher, houseboy, jar opener AND a grammarian? Oh, just try me.
comments (9)
As far as personal spelling assistants go, I highly recommend dictionary.com. I'm sure I've looked up effect/affect more than once, and the website tends not to make fun.
You'll still need to buy a dishwasher though. I don't understand how anyone who cooks can live without one.
1 | jenn | April 28, 2006 09:51 AM
I wish I had that sleeping problem. Seems like all I want to do when my husband isn't around is sleep. And I love to be crafty and I just can't seem to do it when he's gone....I suppose it is the whole christmas morning theory or maybe the travelling by car theory....the more I sleep the faster time will pass.
How much longer will he be gone? Does he at least bring you presents?
2 | Hillary | April 28, 2006 10:38 AM
Hey, Deb, look at the bright side - you have more time to write, right? I stumbled on your blog few weeks ago, and just finished reading your whole archive few days ago. So now I'm down to portioned sizes of your writing - Weight Watchers of sorts. :) You rock! (And I hope Alex gets home soon)
3 | Camellia | April 28, 2006 12:16 PM
Deb,
Go by some shelf liners (the plastic net type) they make EXCELLENT jar openers and really cheap. You just cut off a piece that fits your hand and there you go! Also, I chose the paper plates so I don't mind cooking as much. :) He won't be gone forever and the houseboy, excuse me, cute male housekeeper will help with the sheet grip!
Jen
4 | Jen | April 28, 2006 10:45 PM
i'm with ya! why in the world do i forget to get my butt to bed before 2 whenever mike's gone? i'm aiming for 12 tonight.
5 | HolyMama! | April 28, 2006 11:54 PM
One thing I do when my boyfriend has a awful work assignment, is get in touch with friends. Go to dinner with the girls or have them over.
If I'm really missing him, I write to him, in a journal..thoughts of us, dreams, favorite times etc. Sometimes he gets to hear about it when he comes home. Other times, no. But it helps. :O)
6 | seelife3d | April 29, 2006 12:45 AM
I don't know what to do. I'm getting married July 1, 2006 and I can't wait, but what if it doesn't work out? Will he love me or hate me in married life? I can't decide. I think he'll always love me, but who can really tell? Email me at pierreswife2006@yahoo.com
7 | Julia | May 3, 2006 03:45 PM
I understand how you feel.
8 | Bronxgal | May 5, 2006 11:25 AM
I hear ya. My bf is house sitting for two weeks. I am not used to watching bad tv while he plays xbox, acts like he isn't intrested and then asks me questions about the characters on Laugna Beach. sigh. while we don't live together, he stays over on weekends. two weekends alone is torture. i am sad i know. sigh sigh.
Love your blog-found it yesterday and can't keep away. Need to start with the bad dates-i came in right before the proposal
9 | janelle | May 23, 2006 06:28 PM