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if i get by, it's mine
I received an email from Heather Sunday afternoon with the subject line, "this [expletive] is ripping off your blog!" Indeed, an [expletive] had misappropriated one of my posts as her own, and I used this exact word - misappropriated - when I emailed the [expletive] and let her know she had a very limited time in which to pull the post before I made a great big noisy fuss about the whole thing, mostly because I’d gone on a long, sunny walk with my husband along the river and was trying to keep my mood elevated for as long possible. Within a few hours, the post was pulled, as were apparently a few others she had “borrowed” from others, and I swear, this story has almost nothing to do plagiarizing, as god knows the way I have been feeling about writing lately I could use a little petty thievery to improve my self-image. Nope, this is entirely about what the aforementioned [expletive] deemed worthy of appropriating.
***
I wrote this ghastly burst of Cringe-ready self-importance twenty-eight days before I met the boy who would later become my husband, in case this treatise doesn’t enough scream “single” from each of its two-thousand characters. Now married, it begs a revisit like a high school love letter, and I reread it with the same level of embarrassment.
At the time, the font of my discontent was my contention that along with the comfort that naturally evolves in a relationship comes a disregard for the small things, like flowers, sweet nothings, and a dutifully maintained appearance. It was as if you were no longer worth putting in the effort. As soon as boys lost their new car smell, I felt duped, and I wanted back what I felt I’d been promised.
Thank goodness I married Alex. Each weekend morning, we hurry to the bathroom to brush our teeth before wishing each other a good morning. Our hair? Combed! Before we settle in to our thirtieth viewing of Kill Bill or Harry Potter, we shower, and put on neat and clean loungewear. My nails? Always filed. His teeth? Always flossed. My legs? Shaved each and every day I’ve known him. Flowers from last week? Not in any way rotting in a pitcher on the windowsill. Thank god we’re able to maintain our high standards!
Okay, I’ll stop making fun of my that youthful thing I was three years ago, because I know I never deleted that post because I knew what I’d meant. What I don’t know is why the hell I dated boys that did not share my values or do the little things that were important to me, just because they were. Because mostly, mostly entirely, this is what it comes down to. If the relationship works for you both, morning breath, a dearth of flowers, and socks with holes in them aren’t going to be the deal breakers. And yes, I’m totally lying about the socks with holes in them.
comments (6)
Craaaazzzy baby! I mean, it's one thing to appreciate someone elses point of view, or link to someone's page for emphasis on ones outlook, but copying? Boooorrriiiinnnngg. There's only one you, lady :)
What's funny weird, not funny haha, is, (whispers) I shave my legs everyday for my gf...and I used to be a once a week gal ALOT! (I have very light colored hair.) Who's in love?
1 | Jezzie | April 11, 2006 03:03 PM
I HEART OCD PEOPLE!
2 | Tree | April 11, 2006 03:55 PM
You give me hope. I swear. I go out with boys all the time and wonder if either I'm too big a priss or my standards are too high or I'm just dating a group of men who aren't, to be polite, up to par.
But no, my standards should be high! My Alex is out there. Darn it, I'm going to be wearing pearls, cooking something fantastic and flouncing about in shaved legs in high heels when I find him!
3 | Kelli | April 11, 2006 06:08 PM
totally get your point, though I am also a big fan of the familiarity phase, which does not necessarily involve "letting go", but relaxing in each other´s company.
anyway, I was reading the post you were referring to and I started reading further to read the post you wrote when you met Alex,I have been reading you for a few months but never got down to reading the history. How sweet! I never knew you had met through your blog. What sucks is that Alex´s blog is down, so I could not read his side of the story and get the whole picture in this "when harry met sally" saga.
4 | Marce | April 12, 2006 09:23 AM
wait... "My legs? Shaved each and every day Iâve known him." No way. EVERY day? That's just... superhuman.
5 | Lissa | April 13, 2006 05:44 PM
Blog ripping is becoming all too common. Sad really!
6 | Rose | April 24, 2006 07:54 PM